return my video game
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
