Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
