Walk of Shame. In a state park.
now i know why i became what i already was.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
