yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
