The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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