Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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