her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
