We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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