for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
