He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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