He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
