turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
