Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
