Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
