I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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