So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
