Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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