Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
