Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
