the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
