my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
