So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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