Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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