I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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