I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
