why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
