You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
