she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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