Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
