I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
