i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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