Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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