I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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