I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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