Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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