I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Drake has all the answers
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
