I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
