butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
