Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
