If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
