i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
