my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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