god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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