i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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