Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
