Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Betty ford says i'm here all night
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
