talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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