He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
