Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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