I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
