Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
