Do you still have your period?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's just like the Real World with babies
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
