Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
