i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
