Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
